LIFE

My last post was in June of 2016. A lot of things have happened in my life that has kept me from traveling which in turn has kept me from blogging.  I really didn't think that anyone would really want to hear about what has been going on.  So, I kept silent. However, after much contemplation and several talks with myself, I decided to share some things. WARNING: This is not a normal blog post.

First of all, I am a Christian. I'm not getting ready to preach to you. I'm just letting you know that I have a faith system in my life and I strongly believe in the power of prayer. You will see where I'm going with this a little later on.

Back in July, Daughter found out some very disturbing "things" about her husband, referred to as SIL in some of my previous blogs.  There had been some signs of problems in their marriage but she was very protective and respectful of him and felt that anything wrong should be kept private. She also felt, because of his actions toward her, that the problem must lie with her. Anyway, without going into a lot of detail, they moved back to Texas and decided to separate.

My Daughter was a walking shell of a person.  It was almost like she was walking around on auto-pilot. To this day, I really don't know how she was functioning. It absolutely broke my heart. All of this broke my heart. But, what was really hard, was seeing 2 little girls being very confused about what was going on and being broken hearted that their parents were no longer together. I'm not saying they should stay together, they shouldn't. But kids don't understand or know all the adult reasons for divorce.

Because we live in our RV, there was not room for her to move in with us. Son and DIL very generously allowed her, no insisted, that she and the girls move in with them until she could get a job and get on her feet. Now think about this. Do you know how hard it is to have 2 families living under one roof? They all had their ups and downs, and we tried to be around to help ease the stress as much as possible by giving everyone a break, but I will be forever thankful to Son and DIL for doing this.

Daughter had not worked in 10 years because SIL did not want her to work and she was content to be a stay at home mom. Well, don't be fooled girls. You can't be out of the work force for 10 years and expect to get a job paying decent money, even if you have a college degree.  Heck, you can't be out of the work force for 10 years and expect to get an interview! It took her from August to November to even get an interview and finally get a job.

After some counseling and much thought and prayers on her part, she decided to file for divorce. They have been married 13 years. There has been custody threats, there has been child support threats, there has been switching of schools for the girls again, there has been residence changes, there has been attorneys, there has been dividing of material goods and right after New Year's, Daughter's employer told her that her business was not doing enough business to keep her on.  So, now, she is again looking for a job. We have tried to encourage, give sound advice, physically be there when needed, emotionally be there when needed, monetarily be there when needed, and pray. We are doing everything we can, but when one of your children is hurting and their life has been turned upside down, it doesn't seem like much.

Just a few days ago, a long time friend passed away. Jim Larson was a great guy. He had a great influence on many young men. We use to go to church with him and his wife, Kathy. They had one son, Eric.  We met them when Eric was in middle school and Eric is now 40 years old.  Time has a way of flying by. 

I started thinking about all the things we had done with Jim and Kathy. Jim had some great stories. After all of our kids were grown, they moved to Splendora, TX. Splendora is in the sticks and Jim and Kathy lived on acreage even further in the sticks.  During deer season one year, Jim was sitting in their hot tub on their deck. A deer walked up; Jim had his rifle nearby.  So, while still sitting in his hot tub, Jim takes aim and kills a buck. Deer meat was one of his favorite foods. Life was good for Jim.

Jim was diagnosed with a fast growing cancer at the first of last year. He had surgery and doctors were hopeful. He found out in October that the cancer had returned and treatment was not an option. He had been in hospice the last 3 weeks.

I've told you all about Daughter and about Jim to say that life can take such sudden turns and then it can quickly disappear. Nothing in life is certain.  I am one of those people who always has a plan. I set goals. I check off goals as I reach them. I like to be in control of my life. I want things to go as I have planned. My plan was for my children to get married, have children, and live happily ever after.  However, what has happened to Daughter and Jim, I have no control over. They have lost control over it too.  However, as a Christian, God should be the one that I let be in control of everything. So, this has been a real lesson to me in trusting God to take control of our lives and following His plan. There is a verse in the Bible that has been a mantra for me since coming to this realization through all of this.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

So, I'm working everyday to let God be in control of all of this.  He knows what the plans are He has for me and Mr. W.  He knows if we will be able to travel again soon, someday in the future, or not anymore. He knows what job Daughter needs and what will make her future more secure and hopeful. He knows what will make her trust and love someone again. He knows that there are 2 little girls still hurting and angry. He knows everything. He is in control of everything. He has a plan.

As I said before, I believe in the power of prayer. If you believe in prayer, please pray for our family and please pray for Kathy and Eric as they say goodbye to Jim this next Tuesday. But, especially pray for those 2 little girls. Talk about feeling like you have lost control, try being 9 and 7 years old. I wish I could "kiss it and make it better". But again, I can't. But I do believe God has a plan.