THE TRAVELING LADY TIGERS

How many of you remember your high school years? I remember a lot about high school and it is equally good and bad.  I went to Sam Houston High School on the northside of Houston, TX.  To give you a little background about "us" and our school, back then ('70s), Houston was not nearly as big as it is now.  The northside of Houston was like its own little town within a big city.  None of us were rich, in fact, most of us were just blue collar, middle class families.  I don't remember ever being without anything I needed but my parents couldn't afford very much that I wanted.  Most all of us were in the same boat. We've often talked about how our parents had to pinch every penny and scrimp on everything just to get by, but we never realized it.  We had a house to live in, clothes on our backs, and food to eat. Also, we had friends and a strong sense of community.

We all know that teenage years are tough. Mine was no different. I suffered from pimples, being too thin (oh, I wish I had that problem now!), being too tall for a lot of the boys, not being one of the "popular" kids, having "too old" parents, I wasn't cute, the list goes on and on. Every class has a pecking order and I was way down the list. People like athletes, cheerleaders, and Houstonettes were the popular people, you know, at the top of the pecking order and I spent a lot of time and effort trying to be at least their friend or someone they knew. 

High school is also full of cliques. Many of us knew we would never be a cheerleader or a Houstonette, but we jockeyed around trying to be in a clique that we considered to be a step above some other clique. I felt like I had to act a certain way, talk a certain way, dress a certain way in order to be accepted. I'm pretty sure some people never did feel like they were accepted or belonged to any group. Then to top it off,  your hormones are raging from one extreme to the other. Yes, high school years were tough.

When you finally get out of high school, you think you could care less if you see most of those people ever again.

Fast forward 40 years from graduation.  About 100 of us attended our 40th class reunion and low and behold, none of those stigmas seemed to exist anymore. The cheerleaders were normal people, who have normal problems. The Houstonettes were friendly and welcoming. The athletes, well, they don't look much like athletes anymore. All of these popular people at the top of the pecking order were just ordinary people, just like me. No worse, no better. No one was out to impress anyone. We were all 58 year old adults who had spent the majority of our lives finding our way through careers and family just to realize that relationships are what matter most in life.  And, we were spending that evening with people who had had a relationship with us way back when.  They had known us as trusting children, as insecure teenagers, and now as settled adults.  There is just something about that connection.

In 2016, a group of us ladies decided to do a cruise together to celebrate us all turning 60. There were about 30 of us that went. I will admit that some of those old insecurities started creeping up before I went. No one is going to room with me, no one will want to do anything with me, no one will include me in what they want to do, etc., etc.  Isn't it amazing that all those old insecurities were still there and raising their ugly heads again?

We all had a blast.  We would all go and do different things during the day and meet up for dinner. We would go do different things after dinner and meet back up as a group and sit and talk for hours.  I was included in everything.  I had a roommate.  Everyone was genuinely interested in everyone.  Everyone was genuinely concerned for each other.  Everyone genuinely cared about each other.  We laughed hard. We laughed loud. Everyone within earshot was looking at us wondering what was so funny.  It was a turning point in all of our relationships.

I got to know people in a deep, connected way that I had barely known in school.  I got to reconnect in a deeper way with people I had been friends with but had lost contact with.  It was one of the best experiences of my life.

We have named ourselves The Traveling Lady Tigers (our mascot) and we have continued to try to get together every quarter for some sort of weekend together. Most of the "girls" that went on the cruise attend these get-togethers, but we have added some new "girls" too.  Our tribe continues to grow and it couldn't be sweeter.

We just had a weekend together.  One of the things we did was go to a local theater and saw a play, The Dixie Swim Club.  We did not know what the play was about before we bought tickets.  Guess what it was about?  Five women, who went to school together and were on the swim team, meet at a beach house on the Outer Banks every August.  Their motto was - "The faster we swim, the sooner we win."  It was about 4 different meetings.  The first one was when they were 44 and the last one was when they were 77.  They went through career changes, children, grandchildren, divorce, cancer, dementia, and death.  Wow! Could we relate?!?  Again, we laughed hard and we laughed loud. We also cried. It hit way too close to home. We have helped each other and talked to each other and supported each other through career changes, children, grandchildren, divorce, and cancer. We hope we don't have to deal with death for many years to come.

If I could tell young women anything, I would tell them to hold on to your girlfriends.  The older you get, the more you are going to need them. Here's the reasons why.  It takes girlfriends to observe us, listen to us and recognize what we need to be done for us, said to us, and to read between the lines when we can't bring ourselves to voice our thoughts and emotions.  It's hard to nurture our friendships in the midst of raising children, trying to establish careers, doing laundry, going to PTA meetings. But, what comes after the complicated grown-up stuff is what makes our friendships so important.  We have to invest in each other.  We have to build a history with each other. We have to be willing to share in each other's suffering. We have to be willing to be in this thing called friendship for the long haul.

Having great friends is a matter of being a great friend.  When you are older, you have time to be that great friend. So, take advantage of having less responsibilities and nurture your friendships. Our girlfriends matter in good times and bad, in laughter and tears, and through highs and lows.  But, I promise you, it is worth it. One day you will be laughing hard and laughing loud and you will realize your history with your girlfriends makes that laughter richer and deeper. You will wonder how you ever lived without it.

June 2017

Tiger Cruise 2016